Dealing with Heartbreak

Losing the love of your life can be devastating and turn your whole life up-side down. Michelle Walter discusses how you can turn heartache into healing.

When you are in a long-term relationship, or even a short relationship that affects you very deeply, without realising it, you absorb the identity and issues of the other person. In effect, you become merged. This makes break-up so painful, because you feel you have lost your other half. However, it is important to realise it is not just your ‘other half’ you have lost, but also the shared baggage. When you let go of carrying around all that extra baggage, you are liberated and free to grow and expand.

Re-invent Yourself
You can start to look at what you have lost from your partner’s identity and work out: How do I express the qualities I want to keep, but in my own way? You can recreate the good aspects of the relationship or your ex-partner in a way that is uniquely you. A good example of relationship re-invention is Nicole Kidman. In an obviously painful and unwanted break-up, Nicole has taken the identity she shared with Tom, ‘Acting’, and broken out of her cocoon to become a famous actress in her own unique way. Her connection with Tom has helped her to become more powerful, not less powerful, and it was only in breaking out of the cocoon which the relationship created, that she could spread her wings and fly.

Discovering how to grow
Too often, we believe that the key to getting what we want lies outside ourselves – in some other person. Whilst it is true to say that in a deep, intimate relationship you become open to new feelings and experiences that help you to grow, the relationship itself is an introduction to these new experiences. Your partner cannot continue to provide the energy for you. At some point, you grow strong enough to create these feelings for yourself. This doesn’t mean the end of the relationship, but a new beginning and the birth of new energies in a relationship. Because we have lost connection with our ability to be creative in our relationships, our capacity to continually grow and expand as people, we settle into a pattern of drawing energy from one another and the sharing becomes distorted into neediness.

In order to experience the freedom and true creative flow of life, one of the parties has to break out. When you are the party who is left behind, this can be very difficult to adjust to. However the truth is, as you open your arms and embrace life again, with all its beauty and changes, you’ll discover there is more to see and experience, and of course, plenty more fish in the sea!

Michelle Walter MA is a gifted psychic clairvoyant and author. With her vast experience in psychic work, coupled with her background in psychology, Michelle offers amazing guidance and support, especially in very difficult emotional situations .